During relationship counselling, my focus is on identifying where and when communication has broken down. Couples often find that their worst behaviour comes out with those that they love. They fall into endless circular arguments that begin with a minor disagreement and then rapidly escalate into abusive confrontations over the same issues with no resolution.
John Gottman suggests that it is not the argument that is the problem, but the way we argue, that leads to the break down of relationships. Arguments can stimulate relationships, solve problems, and air differences. When you are arguing, be respectful of your partner’s feelings, values and beliefs and opinions. Gottman suggests that if an argument starts badly, by either being critical, name calling or eye rolling, then the argument will end badly. Regular bad endings will eventually lead to a couple separating physically and emotionally from each other.
Let's break through the argument cycle to a happier life.
Christopher Swane has been a relationship counsellor and psychotherapist for over 6 years in Sydney and Europe before moving to Wellington New Zealand. Christopher Swane developed a multi-disciplinary practice with other health professionals in Europe. During relationship counselling, I assist couples to identify the style of argument that they are engaged in. I discuss the different roles that they may be taking on, and how to change or manage them in a healthier constructive way.
As a relationship counsellor Christopher Swane assists clients to examine and recognise their different needs, how to get them met, and how to respond to their partner's needs in a non-aggressive manner.
Christopher Swane - Relationship Counselling and Psychotherapy - Wellington New Zealand
Although statistically, there has been a change in the number of people admitting to having an extramarital affair, there is still no accurate information on how common affairs are.